assesment day 4

1/30/11           

            Day4

It’s been a while since I’ve been there because I went to my cousins in Alabama. So when my dad woke me up at 8 o’ clock on a snowy Sunday, I was pretty confused and irritated. Once he reminded me, I jumped up and got dressed pretty quick. Once we got there, we wondered what we should do first. I was hoping we wouldn’t have to do the dishwashing again, so we checked the cat room first. There was no one in there, only lots of mewing cats saying, “hello Emmanuel! Can you clean my cage?”. So my mom and I get quickly to work moving cats and cleaning their fecees. Speaking of which, there was a cat named magic that was black with piercing green eyes. We wondered why he had his poor next to the litter box that was almost emptied all over the cage. I remember it took quite a while to clean his cage, but once were done, we heard a rattle and banging from his cage. We turned to see him playing with a piece of wood from his litter box. The little game suddenly turned into a mad thrashing and flipping of items. We decided he’d just do it again, so we moved on to the other cats. Most of the other cages were pretty messy and two other cats ‘missed the box’ if you know what I mean. I wonder why they don’t always do their thing in the bin? Maybe they’re sick? I hope not.

OUTLINE essay # 10

OUTLINE

Bell:

Echo:

Sentence #1: Topic Sentence (TS)

              Example TS: These thing have happened before in the story

Sentence #2: 1st Supporting Detail (SD), with transition

§                    Example SD1: many times the social status has effected how people see others

 Sentence #3: Commentary (CM) on the SD

·                    Example CM1: aunt Alexandra has often told scout she cannot play with certain people.

Sentence #4: Another commentary (CM) on the SD

·                    Example CM2: many in the white community dislike the blacks in it. Lulu did not like jem and scout coming to their black church

Sentence #5: 2nd Supporting Detail (SD), with transition

·              Example SD2: There are many refrences to mocking birds and how they are a sin to kill

Sentence #6: Commentary (CM) on the 2nd SD

Example CM1: Tom Robinson is considered innocent like a bird. Gave help to others like bird gives song

Sentence #7: Another commentary (CM) on the 2nd SD

              Example CM2: Jem and scout mimic towns people with snowmen and little plays with dill

Sentence #8: 3rd Supporting Detail (SD), with transition

              Example SD3: Hypocrisy has appeared a few times in the book

Sentence #9: Commentary (CM) on 3rd SD

              Example CM1:  Even when the jury believed Atticus’s side at the trial, they still voted against Tom

Sentence #10: Commentary (CM) on 3rd SD

              Example CM2:  when scouts class talked about Hitler, none of the adults saw that they were doing the same thing Hitler was doing

Sentence #11: Concluding Sentence (CS)

              Example CS:  it’s interesting how many themes seem to repeat

OUTLINE

Bell:

Echo:

Sentence #1: Topic Sentence (TS)

              Example TS: the red couch is a place I keep returning to

Sentence #2: 1st Supporting Detail (SD), with transition

              Example SD1: I go there when I am mad or very sad

Sentence #3: Commentary (CM) on the SD

              Example CM1: when I was little I changed moods pretty quick

Sentence #4: Another commentary (CM) on the SD

              Example CM2: but whenever I looked outside, it reminded me life still goes on.

Sentence #5: 2nd Supporting Detail (SD), with transition

              Example SD2:  it is a nice place to relax after stressful days

Sentence #6: Commentary (CM) on the 2nd SD

Example CM1: like a free spa, i bring a book and some tea on some weekends

Sentence #7: Another commentary (CM) on the 2nd SD

              Example CM2: even so, sometimes I have to wake up so I can finish my HW

Sentence #8: 3rd Supporting Detail (SD), with transition

              Example SD3:  lastly, I love to study my bible there early in the mornings

Sentence #9: Commentary (CM) on 3rd SD

              Example CM1: I feel really connected there

Sentence #10: Commentary (CM) on 3rd SD

              Example CM2: I will miss that place when I move this summer

Sentence #11: Concluding Sentence (CS)

              Example CS: I will remember those memories

  

1/17/11

            DAY 3

Today mom and I brought my sister, Mia, to see what I was doing when I left. When we got to the shelter, we immediately got signed in and put away our coats and expected to see Casey and her sister Carrie. However, they were not there, probably because it was a holiday. We decided to check the cat rooms, but the cages had been cleaned already and the other rooms were locked. I was worried that we would have to leave because I’m not old enough to handle the dogs yet. So on my way back to the main desk, I saw mom and Mia doing dishes. Well, I thought, it’s better than nothing. It was actually pretty fun, working with my family and talking to another volunteer named Mary who occasionally popped in to tidy up the laundry and say hello. One thing I didn’t like was that the litter boxes were somewhat smelly and some of tem still had some =ahem! = Remains in it. Even so, someone has to do it, and we were the only ones there! After we cleaned all the dishes and put them in their respectful places, my mother said, “ Now do you want a cat?”. Even though it was a rhetorical question, Mia perked up and flashed her hand about as if she was a natural disaster victim,”oooh! Meplaesecanihaveone?!” she proclaimed in a hyper active way. My mom just laughed, because she knew Mia would not take good care of it because Mia did not care for her birds a year ago. It did get me thinking, though. Are we really ready for another pet? Are we ready to give up out free time for it? That’s a good question everyone should think about before they get any creature; I need to see beyond its cuteness. Am I willing to give my time to this animal? What will I have to sacrifice?

assesment 2

DAY 2

Today I woke up in a somewhat groggy way. I didn’t feel like going to the shelter, I just wanted to sleep all day. But I stayed strong, and went there anyways. Once I entered the cat room, many meows and purrs welcomed me, as If they missed me! Then I started  to feel more excited, as if someone just gave me medicine for a cold. There was one cat, a black one, which was really playful. He clawed and batted the towel in my hand while I place food in his cage. His black pupils in his amber eyes dilate as he follows every move of my towel; he arches his black back and pounces. He grabs the towel by a thread and pulls. I instinctively pull back. However, in this case, my size makes me he victor of the towel. After the cages have been cleaned, I went to the laundry room to help my mom and another volunteer, Casey. she said that the cat kennels used to be chock full of cats. So many that you couldn’t place one cat somewhere else so you could clean her cage. Now, however, there are barely five felines in the cat room. I guess I agree with her  that this is a good thing. Even so, I would like to have more cats to care for.

assesment day 1

DAY 1

Today I was full of energy and ready to start my volunteer work at the Westerly Animal Shelter. When I got there, at about 9 ‘o clock, I was a little bit nervous. That was probably because I thought I’d be handling those loud, intimidating dogs in the corner. However, that was not the case. I was assigned to a girl named Carrie; she was in charge of caring for the cats. She wore a navy blue “ I love Karate” hoodie and a grey sweatshirt. Her blonde hair went down to her shoulders and she had baby blue eyes. She also had good patience, which was good in my case because I usually mess up the first few times. The first things I did was clean the cages , which is more complicated than you think! (add instructions here). I also got into a scuffle trying to pick up a big, heavy, hairy stray cat to transmit him to another cage. What you are SUPPOSED to do is pick it up by a special skin flap, hold it’s chest, lift, and carry. What I DID was grab it’s scruff and hold chest. However I didn’t expect to be so heavy and I wasn’t holding the scruff tightly enough. The flabby tabby slipped. I scrambled to pick him up but to no avail. Carrie had to rush in and place him in the cage. After some cleaning, we got a tour of the facility in a more thorough way. We saw were the little animals, like rabbits and parakeets , stayed. The old cats and baby kittens had there own places too. In those rooms they were free to run around unlike the stray and feral room. However, in the far corners of the Shelter, were places for dogs and cats that were unstable and needed special caretakers.  Feel sad that they have to be separated from the others and cannot be taken home. If we could talk to animals, they may not be in there.

1/5/2011

 Level-headed Heroes

By: Emmanuel Perry

Pine Point school

January 5,2011

(IS)A quiet hero, which can be anyone, is someone who loves to help others and stands for what he thinks is right. (CM)They also don’t throw insults and fight those who irritate them or threaten them. (CM)A subtle hero is always humble and tries to make peace wherever there’s conflict.(CM) Our world is filled with these peaceful men and women of courage, like my parents. (CM)As I might add, there is one person in a book I am reading named Atticus, and I think he is a great hero too!

(SM) The ‘quiet hero’ I recognize in To Kill a Mockingbird is Atticus Finch. (CM) In the climax of the story, we find out he is the lawyer of a black man that is accused of rape.  (CM) Atticus had a lot of courage to stand up for a black man, especially in that time period. (CM) He definitely knew he was going to be rejected by the white community. (CM) He was standing up for someone even though others despised it. (SM) In fact the accuser, Mr. Ewell, spat in Atticus’s face a few days before the court case. (CM) Then Mr. Ewell said, “too proud to fight, you nigger loving B****d?!”. (CM) Personally, I would have flattened him right then and there. (CM) However, Atticus just wiped it off coolly and said “no, too old” and walked off. (CM) He acted like the bigger person; Atticus didn’t even raise his voice! (CM) That is a trait a quiet hero should have; the ability to forgive and to understand were others are coming from. (SM) Atticus fought hard for Tom in court, but the jury still found him guilty. (CM) Tom was sent to prison and tried to escape in broad daylight; a mad dash like a hen to a new pot of feed. (CM) “They shot him, he [Tom] was running. It was during there exercise period. They said he just broke into a blind raving charge...” is how Atticus describes the bad news. (CM) Poor Tom ended up with 17 shots into his body. (CM) Atticus seemed like he wasn’t devastated, but he was on the inside. He acted like this because he was a leader; he wanted to be steadfast in front of his kids and sister. (CS) That’s why Atticus is a hero to me; he is level-headed, daring, and enduring.

(IS)Now that I think about it, there are a few quiet heroes I know of in real life. (SD)My mom, for example, is very supportive. (CM)She was on our school board last year, helping our school become what it is today. (CM)On top of that, she also helps out at our church. (CM)She greets guests and members with warm smiles and participates in special meetings held by the elders. (CM)She also tries to organize get-togethers with other families. (CM)For example, she assisted Mrs. Santos in making a Christmas pageant, one that was positively criticized, when they had no pre-made scripts. (CM)She doesn’t have to be far away too, she sends me emails on things that would help me do homework or study. (CM) Sometimes it gets annoying, but I’m glad she is thinking about everyone, even me!  (SD)My dad is also a selfless hero because He is really good with his hands. (CM)He shovels my grandparent’s driveway, made lumber for my uncle, and connects wires and sets up TV systems at my church or at a party. (CM)He is also very positive and is always trying to make my sister and I laugh. (CM)He even takes us to boat shows or to our favorite restaurants. (CM)He helps people without expecting a thank you gift, which is why he is a humble hero to me. (CM)Finally, I think that being around these great examples has changed me to become somewhat of a self-facing hero. (CS)They have taught me to be eager to help and support others.

(IS)A quiet hero, which can be anyone, is someone who loves to help others and stands for what he thinks is right. (CM)They also don’t throw insults and fight those who irritate them or threaten them. (CM)A subtle hero is always humble and tries to make peace wherever there’s conflict.(CM) Our world is filled with these peaceful men and women of courage, like my parents. (CM)As I might add, there is one person in a book I am reading named Atticus, and I think he is a great hero too!

Self-Assessment

1. One thing I am working on is to keep each paragraph at a balanced length.

2. One thing that was good in this essay was that I could relate to my life in the second Body Paragraph.

3. Something wrong in this essay is that the appositives weren't as obvious.

I'd give myself an A-